I'm apologizing ahead if this post sounds a little preachy or churchy-but the reason I'm writing it is to give myself some reassurance and hope. I'm writing this to remind myself why I'm here and why I should "keep on keepin on". So, if it helps anyone else out then its a win-win situation :) Life has been extra hard lately. It's crazy how everything can go from being so "perfect" to complete and utter chaos. There are many of my loved ones going through HARD things. And all I want to be able to do is save them and make everything better. I keep wondering, "Why won't Heavenly Father help them? Why won't he fix this? How can he let innocent people suffer so much?" My dad keeps reminding me that we all have our agency and God won't step in and take that away from us. I keep trying to remind myself that this life is a test...with many trials. And its up to us to decide if we are going to let these trials destroy us, or strengthen us. I have felt very alone and empty lately. Then I remembered this quote from one of my favorite talks...
"We know that on some level Jesus experienced the totality of mortal existence in Gethsemane. It's our faith that he experienced everything- absolutely everything. Sometimes we don't think through the implications of that belief. We talk in great generalities about the sins of all humankind, about the suffering of the entire human family. But we do not experience pain in generalities. We experience it individually. That mean Jesus know what it felt like when your mother died of cancer- how it was for your mother, how it still is for you. He knows what it felt like to lose the student body election. He knows that moment when the brakes locked, and the car started to skid. He experienced the slave ship sailing from Ghana toward Virgina. He experienced napalm in Vietnam. He knows about drug addiction and alcoholism.
..But he'll stay in that room if you put him there. The door to him is always open, but the door to you can be closed and stay closed - if you choose to close it. If there is one great constant in the universe is the unfailing love of the Savior, the other great constant is his unfailing respect for human agency. He will not override your will, even for your own good. He will not compel you to accept his help. He will not force you to accept his companionship. He leaves you free to choose. He's not waiting for us to be perfect. Perfect people do not need a Savior. He came to save us in our imperfections. He is the Lord of the living, and the living makes mistakes. He's not embarrassed by us, angry at us, or shocked. He wants us in our brokenness, in our unhappiness, in our guilt and our grief. You know that people who live in a certain latitude and experience long winter nights can become depressed and even suicidal, because something in our bodies requires whole spectrum light for a certain numbers of hours a day. Our spiritual requirement for light is just as desperate and as deep as our physical need for light. Jesus is the light of the world. We know that the world is a dark place sometimes, but we need not walk in darkness. The people who sit in darkness have seen a great light, and the people who walk in darkness can have a bright companion. We need him, and he is ready to come to us, if we'll open the door and let him in."
-Chieko N. Okazaki (Lighten up)
I often feel like no one truly understands how I feel and what I am going through. This talk is a great reminder that there IS one person who does know. How comforting it is to know that my Savior, Jesus Christ, knows EXACTLY what I have been through and continue to go through. He
atoned for each and every one of our sins and sacrificed His life for me. He is willing to take upon all of our pain but like the talk says, we need to be humble enough to go to Him, ask for His help, and let Him in.
How comforting it is to know that my Savior, Jesus Christ, knows EXACTLY what I have been through and continue to go through. He
"Our destiny is greater than we can imagine. If only we understood who we are and what is in store for us, our hearts would overflow with such gratitude and happiness that it would enlighten even the darkest sorrows with the light and love of God, our Heavenly Father. The next time you feel unhappy, remember where you came from and where you are going. Rather than focus on things that dampen your thoughts with sorrow, choose to focus on those things that fill your soul with hope."The Reflection in the Water
President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
“Think of the purest, most all-consuming love you can imagine. Now multiply that love by an infinite amount—that is the measure of God’s love for you. God does not look on the outward appearance. I believe that He doesn’t care one bit if we live in a castle or a cottage, if we are handsome or homely, if we are famous or forgotten. Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God love encompasses us completely. He loves us because He is filled with an infinite measure of holy, pure, and indescribable love. We are important to God not because of our résumé but because we are His children. He loves every one of us, even those who are flawed, rejected, awkward, sorrowful, or broken. God’s love is so great that He loves even the proud, the selfish, the arrogant, and the wicked. What this means is that, regardless of our current state, there is hope for us. No matter our distress, no matter our sorrow, no matter our mistakes, our infinitely compassionate Heavenly Father desires that we draw near to Him so that He can draw near to us.” ― Dieter F. Uchtdorf
I'm truly so thankful to have the gospel in my life. I feel like I need to express it more...especially with the holiday season just around the corner. It is the perfect time of year to reflect on all of our blessings and to remember the true meaning of the holidays. For now, I'm going to take one day at a time, remember that there is a bigger plan for us that I can't comprehend, and a reason for everything we go through. God is mindful of us and wants us to succeed. We CAN do hard things!
If anyone made it this far, good job and thanks for reading. :) Love you all!
